With the Conference Finals in full effect in the NBA, we turn to the NHL Conference finals for BOOBS!

I don't care what the hockey haters say. These NHL playoffs have been fantastic and keep getting better and better. Not only have I turned a lot of my interest to the NHL playoffs from the consistent strong play of my "Old Time Hockey" Boston Bruins, but flashes of hot Canadian racks are now being pressed up against the penalty box glass. Despite the loss for the Sharks Wednesday night, Ben Eager of San Jose clearly came out a winner. I'm glad to see someone has taken a Ute Football ass-kicking tradition by removing clothing to help lighten up the mood of a sporting audience. Fans may all have their differences, but we can all agree and give a thumbs up to a nice pair of tits.


Don't worry NBA fans, I still have my attention turned to the NBA playoffs. I just have a clear evident lack of interest due to my dislike and hate of the remaining teams. Look who I have to root for:

1. Dallas Mavericks- Despite being the team that curb stomped the Lakers possibly ending the dynasty, this franchise still is home to Jason "Beats His Wife" Kidd and openly names him the best point guard to play the game.


2. Oklahoma City Thunder- This team makes me puke too, but I do my best to hold it in. They have basically become "That Underdog" everyone roots for with the really loud and rowdy crowd. I'm all for rooting for the underdog, but I'm calling Westbrook to turn out as a complete jackass villain in the NBA someday. As for the rowdy crowd? Not a bad crowd, for a team that actually uses artificial crowd noise as well. This team also is largely consisted of Oklahoma Sooner fans, which worship a man just as evil as Jim Tressel in Bob Stoops.

3. Chicago Bulls- I certainly have nothing wrong with this team aside from three personal major setbacks; I don't know if I can handle seeing a man in Carlos Boozer getting a ring one year after walking away from the Jazz (even though the Utah front office clearly showed hardly any interest in wanting Carlos back). The next is how great Chicago's defense is. This bugs me because this is a GREAT defensive team that regularly has Kyle Korver and Carlos Boozer on the floor. Didn't the Jazz opt to not have these guys return because of their lack of any defense whatsoever? Boozer's D is still nothing more than mediocre (which is why Tom Thibodeau is forced to sit him during crucial parts of a game), but Korver with intense defense?! I don't think he even attempted defense during his tenure in Utah. The last reason for not rooting for the Bulls is the obvious memories from the late 90's as a Jazz fan. Being the bitter, classless dicks we are, we will always have at least some small dislike to basketball's most beloved figure, Michael Jordan.

4. Boshtrich and the Miami Heat- Do we have to get into why I am not rooting for south beach? It's hot, moist, and full of black athletes and white ass holes, just like Kardashian vagina. The "Chosen One" LeBron James just got compared to Osama Bin Laden by one Cleveland writer which has probably become the world's most bitchy city. It's basically un-American to even root for the Heat. I don't know if there has ever been a non-human to win an NBA title and the Boshtrich could be the first.